I’m terrified of heights, and thought there was no way in hell I would actually enjoy this. Turns out I loved every second of it and will absolutely be jumping out of another plane in the near future. Las Vegas is definitely the place to jump if you’re debating it. You get a full 60 second freefall at 120mph and you can see Hoover Dam, Lake Mead, the Colorado River, The Strip, Valley of Fire, Redrock Canyon, Mt. Charleston, and Four States. It really is quite the experience.
Futurama Fifth Element
Perfecting the fish takes time and practice, but can be applied to anything in your daily life. We’re even starting to see statues dedicated to fishing pop up. It certainly seems to be getting athletes far these days. This man used his fishing skills to advance in rugby, and this fine wrestler has coined his vicious fish “The Butt Drag”. Check it out.
I was first introduced to this bitch as the latest hot Joss Whedon-vetted slut on his short-lived show Firefly. She played a hedonistic assassin named Saffron who enjoyed using her sexuality as a weapon against both men and women alike. Unfortunately she met her match against the ship’s resident whore Inara.
Now she plays a secretary named Joan on the AMC series Mad Men. She’s sleeping her way to the top and continuing to vicariously exploit the redhead fetish in the roles that she plays. Her character has basically been handed a country-raised prude to shape in her own image. She proceeds to thorougly corrupt the prude and train her in the art of seducing the men in power who surround her in order to get her way.
Yeah, uhh, check out that hair. Pretty fucking crazy. The boss in Mad Men described her lips as “a dollop of strawberry jam in a glass of sweet creamy mik.” Jesus…
The coolest Scientologist ever! The man made some very memorable music in the 70s, winning an Oscar for his theme to the movie Shaft and went on to act in his own awesome blaxploitation movie, Truck Turner! His first two albums, Hot Buttered Soul and Black Moses are both excellent records that anyone who has more than a passing interest in 70s soul and funk should own. He was awesome as the Duke of New York in John Carpenter’s Escape from New York. His version of “Walk on By” is one of the funkiest songs ever. The man accomplished a lot in his life.
Oh and he was on some poorly animated cartoon for a while. I think he played a chef.
Freak out to the trailer for Truck Turner:
And treat your ears to “Walk on By”:
Only in the South would you get a news story like this: Local Retard calls 911 because he got the wrong sandwich. This just boggles my mind how an adult could be this stupid, this shit’s like when you’re a little kid and some prick who’s dad’s a cop tells you that if you’re not nice to him, he’ll have his dad arrest your dad. (to which you reply that your mom’s a real estate agent and if he does that she’ll sell his house but I digress)
It’s like that little douchefag grew up and never got a fucking clue and thinks getting the wrong FIVE DOLLAH FOOTLONG is a high crime.
probably watchin’ an ER dvd
Doubt we’ll ever make ‘em but what do you think:
For when you just have to throw a pint glass at a friend.
Here’s the latest scoop on alex’s adventures in failing:
Alex hates Kreig. Kreig hates Alex. So you’d think inviting the two of them to breakfast at Dougherty’s would be an idea that most people would reject outright.
Sadly not.
Any how, Alex got pissed at Kreig, got into some manner of fisticuffs with him, which went unnoticed by bar security, then 5 minutes later chucked a pint glass of water at Kreig, missing him but beaning Cy on the noggin. Luckily for all involved, but especially Cy, the glass did not shatter and Cy was just left with a sore jaw.
Alex and Kreig were then both 86′d permanently from the establishment, with Alex returning 10 minutes later wearing a “disguise” of a new shirt and sunglasses, claiming he needed to find his cellphone. He was then forcibly removed from the bar by the owner/cook/bouncer, who threatened to beat him up.
All in all a sucessful day for Alex.
indeed.
it never got weird enough.
Some kid baked up some cookies and candy, laced them with LSD and gave them to a bunch of police stations under the ruse of being a gift from Mothers Against Drunk Drivers! At least 3 officers have gotten “sick”, or had mind blowing, life changing experiences that will enrich their spiritual and/or intellectual lives for years to come.
A College student is holding the Eucharist hostage from a catholic church. Let me explain something, if you’re not familiar with Catholicism: Catholics believe in a miracle of transubstantiation, which is that after the communion wafer is blessed by a priest, it transubstantiates into the flesh of Christ. So by taking this blessed wafer this guy is holding the flesh of Christ hostage, to these Catholics. To everyone else he’s holding a crappy tasting cracker hostage.
Research in Motion, makers of the Crackberry Blackberry has a website for potential hirees that is called www.rim.jobs. SERIOUSLY.
Sascha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G/Borat, is filming a new movie for his character “Bruno” which promises to do everything with homophobia that Borat did for mainstream American prejudice to foreigners and minorities. As one of his pranks he booked two fake UFC style cage fights in Arkansas and advertised low ticket prices + dollar beer. The retarded hicks who showed up were horribly shocked to find that instead of two half naked men beating the shit out of each other, they were instead watching two half naked men make passionate love to each other.
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